So, I'm sitting here in my basement. In about 40 minutes, it will be Christmas and I will be 17 years old. Every year, what a strange feeling. The feeling that I should feel different, but I really don't. Like, I'm thoughtful about it, and I'm aware of it, but I'm just sitting here in my basement, like any other night, listening to my brand new Arcade Fire CD, and if I just didn't think about it, nothing would be different. I've felt 17 for a few weeks. That's really how it always is, especially because 17 isn't any big landmark. I can go to R rated movies by myself. Yippee! Christmas was much more exciting when I was little, and it was all about the presents, and that was okay, because I was little. Now I am older, so I am not allowed to be as focused on presents, which is fine, because the presents aren't as exciting now that I am older and also now that my grandparents aren't able to do as much shopping. Present wise, nothing will ever top the year when my grandparents stood in line to get my brother and me a Wii, and we both got DSs and that might have also been the year I got a digital camera for my birthday... Or was that the portable DVD player with the awful battery life? But this Christmas has been really great. I don't know. I'm still too young to only be about family and stuff. In 35 minutes it will be Christmas and my birthday. I will wake up, it will be exciting, and before I know it, it will be over. That's the way it always is. No, that's depressing. What am I even trying to say here? I like Christmas. I like the feeling driving home from my grandparent's house, listening to the Current play the biggest variety of Christmas music I've ever heard, looking at lights. I don't know...
I'm sitting here in my basement. Soon it will be Christmas, and soon it will be my birthday, and that is exactly how I feel.
Christmas Eve always makes me think of the song from A Year with Frog and Toad: "Merry Almost Christmas, Happy Almost New Year" There are a lot of other really nice lyrics too, but that pretty much sums it up.
Here I am. 11:30 on Christmas Eve. I should go to bed before too long, or else Santa won't come, and I won't want to wake up in the morning. (yeah... right...) But not before midnight. I'll sit here, staring at this screen, and ponder. But probably not. I'll probably just listen to more Arcade Fire, maybe watch some youtube videos, but mostly just wait. I don't know. When I started typing this I expected it to be shorter and less rambly... How silly of me.
No comments:
Post a Comment